Exactly one year ago, in the month of August, I flew to Hawaii with my mom and her close girlfriends. It was a 5 day trip and all I could think about was the beach, sun, and some quiet time to reflect on where I stood in life. For the first 3.5 days, I did just that. I rented a boogie board, swam out to sea, basked in the sun on top of my board in desperate hopes of getting a spectacular tan, and enjoyed every minute. On one particular evening, I strolled through town a few blocks away from my hotel and found a small information booth for tourists. I decided to check out some potential water activities to take two of my mom's friends' children. An all-day package that included jet skiing, banana boating, snorkeling, water tubing, wind surfing, and scuba diving totally caught my attention and I instantly signed up for three people for the following day.
Contrary to my expectation, a young, relatively good looking guide picked us up at the hotel for a full day out at sea. Being a local on the island, he presented a fabulous tan and was cut like one of the Greek god statues. I couldn't help but gape. I vividly remember our ride back to the hotel. The children fell asleep and just as I was dozing off, he cleared his throat and asked me if I was free to have dinner and drinks in the evening. Without even thinking about what my mom would say, I agreed without hesitation and told him to meet me at the lobby by 8.
Back in the hotel room, I took a long hot shower and wondered what came over me. I was never the bold, sassy type. Yet, my approach to a random stranger gave me an odd feeling of liberation. Something about the environment, the atmosphere, and him... I couldn't pin-point it, but I knew that I was not my usual self. After eating an early dinner with my mom and her friends at Cheesecake Factory, I fabricated a story of how I randomly met my high school friend at the beach prior to dinner, and that we were going to go out for a drink. With that said, I bolted back to the lobby and waited for him to pick me up.
I felt a gentle touch on my bare shoulder and turned around. It was him! Dressed casually in a loose, unbuttoned blouse with faded jeans. He didn't really sport my favorite style, but he could have been wearing sweatpants and a hoodie and still stop traffic. We walked into town and sat at a bar overlooking the beach. I ordered the lychee cocktail and he got the dry gin with lime on the rocks.
Two additional cocktails and a plate of fried calamari later, we exchanged in-depth conversations about our personal lives. It was a weird feeling, actually. To tell a complete stranger about your life and connect with him on all levels was truly inspiring and exhilarating at the same time. It usually takes me an "x" amount of time to let my guard down and speak willingly and openly about what goes on in my little head, but Nathan (yes, I'm finally revealing his name) had a charm about him that practically put a spell on me.
If there was such a thing as predestination, then perhaps fate allowed me to connect with him so personally, right then and there. Or maybe it was just the romantic atmosphere; or the booze; or the fact that I will never see this person again... Whatever the circumstances, the act of telling a complete stranger 3/4 of your heart's content was a type of freedom that I never experienced before. It was raw. It was real. It was surreal. It was an awakening to all the possibilities in the world that I can acquire for myself. His presence, his listening ear, his passionate character, his keen ability to draw a veil around our circumference all allowed me to run free with what needed to be taken off of my chest.
The following morning, I flew back to LA with my party. We never even exchanged phone numbers or email addresses. The only token of his existence from our encounter together, was a wooden key chain that he gave to me as a parting gift - carved into a sea turtle. It was a reminder of our turtle-watching adventure in the ocean and our short time together at the beach front. As the trip wrapped up, I felt like Edna Pontellier in The Awakening. Hawaii represented Grand Isle and Nathan was Robert Lebrun.
My transient disregard of reality allowed fresh perspectives to flood into my head. These perspectives deserve a separate post and I promise I'll follow up on it in the near future. The point of this post about my modest little "fling," as my friends call it, is that it allowed me to feel and see things that I never knew before. More importantly, it had allowed me to look at my future differently and what I am capable of doing to change it, and I learned the value of relationships, connection, and emotion. There are times when I feel lost and confused, I admit, but every time I catch a glimpse of the sea turtle key chain or pictures of beautiful sunsets in Hawaii, I am virtually taken back to last summer's rendezvous with Nathan, and I smile.
